What’s in your hand?

Today’s sermon by Pastor Wenan was very inspiring to me. It was one of my favorite part of the Bible, Moses making excuses to the call of God.  Whenever I feel inadequate about myself, this story Exodus chapter 4 reminds me the humble beginning of such a great leader Moses. He was afraid of people’s rejection, and asked God ‘what if people doesn’t listen to me?’. I can identify with his fear, how many times we worry too much about what other people might think of us?

He went on to say ‘why me? there are others who are better than me..’ this ‘If only’ mindset was not of God because he has given us all we need. I mean, he made us, wouldn’t he know how we are and what we can? I had lots of ‘if only’ excuses in my younger days. ‘if only i was a boy, then i would’ve been accepted by my family..’ ‘if only i was a charismatic leader..’, ‘if only i was good at public speaking..’ But God made me a girl, of distinctive melancholic temperament, as quiet and gentle spirit with willingness to learn. And ‘God saw that and it was good’. 

God used what Moses had, shepherd stick. He didn’t asked for the fancy weapon or gadget he didn’t have. When Moses simply obeyed God and let go of all he had -he threw away his staff on the ground- God performed a miracle on his behalf. Wow, I love this part of the story. He had to let go of all he had, to be able to experience God’s power!

I still remember the vision God has shown me when I was crying out for millions of things that I did not have. He showed me many seeds, and he said ‘ All you need, I have given into you ALREADY.’ but It was in seed form, not the fruit itself. That was, so God! I just love the way he works. My prayer is that whatever God has given into me will continue to grow to its fullest, and I will give whatever I have within me, for my Lord, for my Savior, for my Love. I might stuff up on the way, people can laugh at me, but it wouldn’t stop me from giving my all to him.

Because I am a woman in Love.

Stormy BBQ

Saturday. I opened my eyes at 10.10am.

I took a shower, made myself presentable, drove off and grab some BBQ meats at Woolworth and arrived at South bank at 11.05am. I dreamt of relaxing and lazy BBQ scene under the warm sunshine, but it turned out to be…quite the opposite. We couldn’t find the empty BBQ place so had to walk around nearly an hour. The weather was so windy and even stormy, all our foods and plates were about to be blown away. Finally a plastic cup flied and Seya got lemon-lime-bitter shower on her trouser!

 

 

I love the city view at the back, it’s so beautiful. Sometimes I forget too easily, how much I am blessed to be alive, to be exactly where I suppose to be, and doing exactly what I am suppose to be doing, to know where I came from and where I am going to. It amazes me. If not Jesus what would I be doing with my life? Who would I be getting around with,  It is even scary to think about.

Yes, I’ve been there and done that, living without knowing who I am and what I am here for. that is certainly the place where I would never want to go back. I found hope in Jesus and I will never let him go. Ever since I found him, life has never been the same. Purposeful life is certainly worth to celebrate!

Please bear with me.

God’s calling for the reconciliation was tender yet clear.

When we rub with many people around us, unintentionally and unconsciously we happen to have some uncomfortable relationships. I don’t know about others, but due to my lack of Christ-likeness within me, this happened to me number of times over the years.

This is when the real humility kicks in, will we be able to initiate the conversation and go to that person first to straighten things out? Especially when we think we haven’t done much to deserve such brokenness of relationship with others. Not that I am saying we have to say sorry just for the sake of peace, but really have that intention to clear up any misunderstanding and resolve the conflict by putting ourselves into their shoes.

God said to Bear with each other in Love and forgiveness. How true. If it was meant to be easy he wouldn’t have said to BEAR. Some people are hard to love. But God said, If we only love those who are lovable what is different with us and the those who doesn’t know God?God died for the lovable and the unlovable. In fact, I wasn’t lovable to him at all, with sins all over me. God help my immaturity in dealing with conflicted relationships. I am unable and disable without you. Increase the Christ-likeness within me, teach me the true humility so that I will obey to your WORD and be able to please you.

The Wall

Yes, Nehemiah did not had to take up the task. He had a cushy government Job, possibly a family, under the favor of King, and comfortable surroundings-what made him decide to let go of all that, just to go to somewhere totally new, barren, desolate without knowing what lies ahead. What has he got to do with a brick wall of some small country town?  Simple. Compassion. When he saw God’s people being exposed to the attacks of enemy, he wept and mourned in fasting and praying. It just amazed me.

He was a cup-bearer; he one who drinks and eats King’s food to ensure the safety of King. He knew nothing about building, construction, quantity survey, or architectural skill. But he started with recognizing who God is.  “O Lord, God of heaven, the great and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love…” ( Neh 1:5) It’s a good place to start. It’s the only place to start. Yes, he had much fear “I was very much afraid..”(Neh 2:2) and people ridiculed, mocked, even threatened his life. But he answered “The God of heaven will give us success..”(Neh 2:20). And we all know what happened after that..

It was not just a story of someone who built the brick wall thousands years ago. It was Not… I know, and God knows. So this is my answer..

Make me a blessing to those who needs the touch of you.

Open my eyes and give me the Holy compassion.

If I am useful for your will in anyway, use me. Yes, use me.

And on the day when I stand before you face to face

make the prayer of Nehemiah as mine.. 

 ” Remember me for this, O My God and do not blot out

what I  have so faithfully done for the house of my God and its service..” (Neh 13:14)

 

Howdy, Chris_Esther

Believe or not, my dream was to be a poet, or at least a writer.

I wrote articles and stories in school paper ever since i know how to make up one. I wrote to radio stations whenever I need a present to give someone but have no money to buy anything. I wrote to magazines and local news papers when I was bored, and exactly knew how to be selected. At first I collected all my articles from the newspaper but when it got too much i gave it up. I binded my articles as a book three times, and received so called fan letters from regular readers.

As I live in Aussie land for many years, I came to the point where I can’t speak neither Korean nor English properly. I still am living in that situation which is not very fun AT ALL! That’s one of the reason why I didn’t wanted to start a blog even though it always was a temptation to me. (the other reason is of course, because i have no idea how to start one!) One day My friend SY said I should share my thoughts and hearts to inspire others. So here I am, I’d love to share the love of God and his sweet company in my life.

Here it goes,

Don’t forget to enjoy the broken english and dodgy grammar of mine.