Shout to the Lord

I don’t hide that I was a tone deaf. Despite of born in quite a musical family I never could successfuly pick up musical instrument or even sing in tune! I was shame to my family. Whenever we go to karaoke -which is pretty common entertainment to koreans- tamborine was all mine. I was commented negatively about my high voice in out of tune at the local church choir, I was hurt badly and ever since then I decided I will never join the singing team of any kind.

When I came to Australia and join the Hope Brisbane church, I experienced  powerful encounter with the living God, and I discover the joy of worshipping him. Days and nights I sang a simple song, like amazing grace, for hours and hours in holy revelation of my Lord. Because I was living by myself I had all freedom to cry out like a mad frog all day long.

But I still had a great fear of singing in public, until one day, a worship leader I respected very much, coincidently heard me sing and toss a comment ‘You got to be in a church worship team.’ that short comment rang in my heart for many days like a word from God himself. God, I mean, why! Is it because it is my greatest fear? Why wouldn’t you just leave me alone in peace?

My God is as such. He want to see me overcome all my fears, especially great fear with long history. That’s the power in Christ, if we proclaim we can do all things in Christ who strengthen us, we got to prove that by overcoming our fears! And the truth is, as we obey to his gentle prompting, he exchanges that fear into great joy. How true!

Few years passed after God called me into the church worship team. This day it became one of my burning passion to worship God, it became my holy discontent when I see people especially believers don’t know the joy of worshipping, it became my pain when I see some people finds worship time sleepy and boring, it became something I would do anything to be able to do better.

It’s not about singing. I find it hard to enjoy songs with great voice singing about secular love or praising their lover. I know the end of it, there’s nothing worth to sing about. Only God’s unfailing love deserves to be praised with all my heart. There is a true fulfilment in my spirit as I connect with my creator in such ecstatic times of worship.

Jesus, Jesus, I praise your name

you shined upon the darkness and you touched my life

Ever again I am the same ever since I have met you

The name that will ever be praised for you are the Lord

When there’s no one around me you will be right here

Oh how I love you, Oh How I love you

You are all I need, and I love you Lord.

The Lord of my life, is now with me

still worth dying for

I am reading ‘Jesus freaks’ by DC talk and the voice of the martyrs. There are loads of astonishing stories about the people who are killed for the sake of their faith. One of the stories happened in Korea has stuck in my mind.

When he heard the shouts, Robert J.Thomas looked up from reading his bible. Korean soldiers were boarding the ship, waving long, flashing knives. When he saw that he was going to be killed, he held out the Korean bible to them and saying, “Jesus, Jesus!” His head was cut off.

“….What?! Such a waste!!” 

On 1866 which he went over to North Korea, there were hardly any foreigners there, they would have never even heard english being spoken. I read a death of a missionary who made a huge difference and brought some great revelations in the country before being killed gloriously(?). But this guy Thomas haven’t even convert one soul before being killed! No one could even understood a word of what he was saying!

Thomas was the first missionary to Korea and survived only 3 months before being killed by some randome soldier. His wife also died on the way to Korea. He didn’t convert one person, it still costs him everything.

So what, if he prepared three long years for that three months of short life in North Korea? So what, he and his wife died without saving even a single soul? So what, no one understood the cause of his death or remember who he was or what he was doing there? SO WHAT?

He obeyed God’s command.

It said that God called us to be faithful, not to be successful. Isn’t God’s hand powerful enough to covert the entire North Korea right now if he wants to? If everything is for the glory of God, when we seems to be failing in humans eyes we should acknowledge that he is in control of all things. There is a fine line between serving God for my success and fruits, and for God’s. It’s very easy to be drawn into the self-satisfaction and self-glory even when we say we are serving God.

If God calls me and I don’t see any success, when he sees me in heaven he will still congraturate me for being obedient to his call. At the end of the day the entire world belongs to him! I realised that’s the secret of joy and peace in serving God.

 _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

 

God took what seems like failure and turned it into success. The book reports that the bible he gave to his murderer has been secretly circulate and today, there are more than hundred christian families secretly worship God.