Oh My Korea

I am sorry, I hated Korea. 

We have been taught that Korean language is the most scientific and artistic language in the world, and being one race (99.9% Korean in Korea) was a national pride. They do make some successful dramas, they are known as Kimchi, taekwon-do, samsung etc. Eventually some grew to be pretty patriotic (like my brother) However after 22 yrs of my life in South Korea, I was one miserably depressed victim of the society.

I wasn’t welcomed by anyone from birth due to being a female, I was hard pressed to be smarter, taller, richer, prettier, better than people around me. Because of my painful past in Korea I openly criticised this country, until one day, one leader confronted me with short but powerful words. “Don’t let anything hinder God’s will for your life. What will you do if God send you back to Korea for the mission?”

It took me many years to detox myself from that bitterness and anger. God slowly but surely began to bring it up to the surface, so that I could deal with the painful memories and past hurts. Revisiting those memories were fearful, yet he guided me step by step and allowed me to analyse the real reasons behind those angers.

6 years passed. This year multicultural night I got a privilege to represent South Korea, and I had to spend significant amount of time making the ppt file with pictures. I was amazed to research about how God moved in this country miraculously, the revival that happened, young people with vision and passion, God is using this nation to reach out to the world today! South Korea is the 2nd largest missionary sending country next to America!

If somebody ask of my nationality, I will happily answer that I am an Australian. But it is like South Korea is a mom who gave birth to me yet I never felt loved, and Australia is like a mom who adopted me and grew me with love. Now finally I can say that I forgive in my heart, all the wounds and hurts I went through in this country. Now I can ask God for blessings upon this country and to continue to use them mightly for his Kingdom.

 

I am free.

 

What’s underneath?

I procrastinated enough about this.

When I moved to this house, I saw a little part of wooden floor that was damaged. But because it looked quite okay from outside, and in the midst of painting the house, buying furniture and sort out thousands of documents, I let it slip my mind. Two month later, it began to get on to my nerves slowly but surely, and came to the point where I just have to do something about it.

First, I got the professional to come and have a look at the floor, whether they can change the patch up the damaged floor. Disappointing news was that they cannot change only the part of it because all flooring pattern is different and they cannot figure out which company or brand the current flooring is. In other words, I have to redo the entire living room area, and that’s a huge job and$!

After much of research eventually, I decided to go with ceramic tiles. And it is all happening, the worker is here right now, and he reaped off the entire wooden flooring and even taken off the underlay that covered the cement floor.

Here. He told me another surprising news. The plumbing behind the washing machine in the kitchen (yes, it’s  funny structure) has a problem that leaks the water from inside the wall, and it flows underneath the floor. That’s why the floor was water damaged. To fix this problem, the entire wall has to come down, and rebuilt it and repaint the whole wall, possibly the house again!

Oh. Lord!! In all my honesty, I’ve never expected the little damaged floor patch will become so much of trouble.

What the worker said was true, I could see the watermark all over the cement floor that half of the living room were influenced, appeared to be wet. It is only possible to see because he has lifted up all the wooden flooring and revealed the ugly cement floor. Who would have known such fundamental and crucial issue was hiding underneath the well patched up wooden flooring?

Looking down the wet floor, I was thinking. How true! Isn’t human nature as such? From outside, we look perfectly fine, well groomed, well behave, politely speak, and maybe even respectably renown as individuals. But what is underneath it all? This ‘little damaged part’ has linked with deep and profound root issue behind it all. And only when God lifts up all the well presented wrapping paper, then it reveals itself all over, exposing the worst side of us and ugly greedy dirty nature underneath it all.

Sometimes it reveals itself through one small incident. We might see something we don’t feel comfortable about, without knowing the exact reason why. But as we bite the humblepie and come naked before God, he would reveal, what is behind the little comment we made or little attitude that we show, or that subtle hint of disobedience or pride within us, and some of them root issues maybe from all the way our childhood, the way our parents educated us, deep insecurity, or past wound and hurt that we think it doesn’t matter but obviously still influencing huge life of our being while it hid itself underneath it all.

It is uncomfortable thing to come naked before God. It reveals our true being and it is ugly. It hurts to see we being so small and low. So many would rather patch it up and says ‘it should be fine now, it’s only a small matter’ But to ignore that little sign would be the biggest mistake we will make, because unless the root issue is not been dealt with, it will continue to reveal itself through many other occasions in the future.

Let us not patch up the wooden floor, no matter how much it may costs – yes it cost me a fortune – no matter how long it takes, this work should be done, by God. Let’s lift up our nice looking flooring outside and allow God to work on the deep inside. Then we will learn the real meaning of ‘humility’. Then finally, we will be transformed with REAL newness in us that God has promised,

“If anyone is IN CHRIST,  the old has gone, the new has come.”

2 Cor 5:17

 

‘What’s underneath you?’

lie

I used to lie a lot when I was a kid. Nowadays I am realising that many times my mom knew the truth all along, but just pretend that she doesn’t know so that she wouldn’t embarrass me. Although at that time I thought I was on top of her head, when I think about it now, she was on top of my head, all along.

The point?

I am in her shoes now.

Arrgh!