I get to serve

“Lord, I DON’T want this to be the preaching for sake of preaching. I DON’T want this time to be my practice for the public speaking skills. I DON’T want me to preach for sake of preaching. And these people are not sitting here just by coincidence. May YOU speak through my lips.”

I was opening for the sermon. Somehow what I prayed to God lingered around my head for quite a while. There were times that I saw myself doing something just because I was on the roster. There were piles of things to be done, and my basic needs as a person was not being met at that point of time. How did the privilage of serving the living God became a mere duty? I didn’t know how I got there. But it was a scary place to be.

Israel Houghton wrote about ‘get to’ Vs ‘got to’ in his book ‘deeper level’. He saw himself answering to others  “I got to lead worship.” And he pondered about what he said. At the beginning, for him to lead worship was huge thing, scary thing,  fear and trembling and all that. As time goes by he continued to remind himself that he ‘gets to’ do it, not just he ‘got to’ do it. * nod nod*

If we lose the freshness in our thanksgiving for the privilage to serve the living God, we are losing it all. Soon we may chock him on the neck and say “What do I get for what I’ve done for you!!” Or being stiff-necked and thinking ‘Yes, God used me again, ME!!’ while saying, “Hmm, such a privilage to be used by the Lord” (‘eh-hem!’)  That will be a false humility.

Brother Yun said to his wife “If God decided to use us to touch many lives, praise the Lord. His will be done. If one day God suddenly decide that he won’t use us anymore, still Praise the Lord. His will be done anyway. We are just chosen by God for this season of time for him to use.” Over the years, I realised that having the right perspectives has helped me to be free from the pressure to perform and pretend to be someone who i am not. We just the way we are, God will use us because of his GRACE and our WILLINGNESS.

It’s time to refresh our gratitude unto the Lord.

self control

When your body doesn’t listen to you, tell it,

” I control you! You DON’T control me!!”

When your emotion draggs you around and cripples you,

look at it straight into the eye and commend,

“No! You listen to ME! I Control YOU!”

Even when you say “I couldn’t help it.” No, You have made a CHOICE right there. Even what you choose to think, the way you choose to believe, the things you said and done just now, actually you have made a choice. King David commended to his body “Let everything within me, bless his holy name!”. Lord Jesus prayed until his drops of sweat become like blood drops. Even Job, yes, Job in all his disasters, said “God gives everything and he takes away everything, let his name be praised!” It is possible to ‘deny oursleves’ and make every thoughts become obedient to Christ. There is such a great value in ability to be able to self control.

O, Give me your strength Lord!! Each and every moment I breathe.

1 Peter 1:13 “Prepare your MINDS for ACTION;

BE SELF-CONTROLED..”

Back to the Word

Finally it is done.

I’ve completed reading Quest bible yesterday. To my shame, it took me whopping 3 yrs+ to complete this round. The shortest period of time I’ve finished reading the Word was in 3 days and 3 nights. I barely slept. It was when I first met God personally, still remember how shocking the whole word of God was to me. After few more round of serious slower reading of the bible, then I went through one by one study bible, student bible, message bible, and now quest bible. (the book got bigger and bigger..)

This is given to me by Hannah Ong on 2004. I am very grateful for her investment on me. This bible has a lot of explanations and Q&As on each verses, which was perfect for a curious type like me. (I like to question about everything) I want to encourage everyone, “read the bible with plan to complete in period of time”, understanding of the authentic word of God is a MUST for every christians who desire a life of obedience. If you don’t know what the Word says and How God is like, how can you live according to his will?

Also yesterday Ive completed 40 days of fasting for the focus in new year and further direction from the Lord. When I just came back from the holiday, I was in a mess – kind of – , distracted and anxious about the new year. My poor shepherd can testify this. However during this period of fasting, God once again embraced my heart and affirmed ‘man does not live on bread alone’ , but by the Word that is alive and active. It never fail to encourage me.

I always remember this short conversation with brother Ben at the Hope Bookshelf.

” What book do you recommend for me, Ben?”

” Have you finished reading the bible, Sister?”

“Yes, I have.”

“Oh! Read it again, Sister.”

“Yes, I have already read it again.”

“Oh! Good!! Read it again, Sister.”

“Yeah, actually I’ve read it quite a few round already.”

“Oh, really? That’s great!! Praise the Lord!! READ IT AGAIN, SISTA!!!”